Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Betta versions
My first post must have been sometime in November 2005. The blog was called an on-line Papier Machine, after an installation by Australian sculptor Elizabeth Presa (a big influence on me), which in turn took its title from Derrida's collection of essays on the future of text and writing in the digital age.
I had just returned from Australia, and was trying to settle down in my home city of Kuala Lumpur again. It's been three years now since my return, and there's been a great deal of evolution in my life, art and by extension, my blog.
This blog is a great crutch for me. I have by turns called it my resource, my weakness and my ego surrogate (like that last one do you? So do I!). As much as I am driven by compulsion to reveal and confess, I have been known to be dogged by strange feelings of revulsion and extreme vulnerability in the aftermath.
I am also a compulsive throw-away-er of my works. After an exhibition, not only do I detest revisiting what I've done, I almost cannot stand to have any remnants or reminders of past works in my immediate environment. (I do make rare exceptions with things I have sufficiently distanced myself from). This harsh treatment of things meant specifically for public consumption applies doubly to things that I make or write mostly for personal and developmental purposes.
Hence after only about a year and half, I finally made good on my many promises and put Betta Simplex into hiding and eventually to death.
But I couldn't resist the blogging itch (as Newty calls it) and so Super Secret Center is a rebirth! I think (or so I'd like to believe) it reflects a more steady state of mind, which is partly a result of increased day-to-day living comforts,as well as being with someone who makes me happy. I do find that the extreme edge of anxiety I used to carry with me has dulled somewhat. I'm glad about that.
A good friend recently brought to my attention that he preferred the old blog (i.e. this one), or rather he missed the history. He wondered if I might make available the old posts in a archive. I was reluctant, but after some thought, I suppose... what's the harm. I guess it's ok (nice, even!) to hang on to some things, to have a sense of history. I'm all about evolution, but maybe self-iconoclasm doesn't need to be necessary for change.
However, I have set some posts to private, as is my prerogative. There'll always be some secrets! ^_- ¶ 3:29 PM
I had just returned from Australia, and was trying to settle down in my home city of Kuala Lumpur again. It's been three years now since my return, and there's been a great deal of evolution in my life, art and by extension, my blog.
This blog is a great crutch for me. I have by turns called it my resource, my weakness and my ego surrogate (like that last one do you? So do I!). As much as I am driven by compulsion to reveal and confess, I have been known to be dogged by strange feelings of revulsion and extreme vulnerability in the aftermath.
I am also a compulsive throw-away-er of my works. After an exhibition, not only do I detest revisiting what I've done, I almost cannot stand to have any remnants or reminders of past works in my immediate environment. (I do make rare exceptions with things I have sufficiently distanced myself from). This harsh treatment of things meant specifically for public consumption applies doubly to things that I make or write mostly for personal and developmental purposes.
Hence after only about a year and half, I finally made good on my many promises and put Betta Simplex into hiding and eventually to death.
But I couldn't resist the blogging itch (as Newty calls it) and so Super Secret Center is a rebirth! I think (or so I'd like to believe) it reflects a more steady state of mind, which is partly a result of increased day-to-day living comforts,
A good friend recently brought to my attention that he preferred the old blog (i.e. this one), or rather he missed the history. He wondered if I might make available the old posts in a archive. I was reluctant, but after some thought, I suppose... what's the harm. I guess it's ok (nice, even!) to hang on to some things, to have a sense of history. I'm all about evolution, but maybe self-iconoclasm doesn't need to be necessary for change.
However, I have set some posts to private, as is my prerogative. There'll always be some secrets! ^_- ¶ 3:29 PM
