House of the Dead IV I do not know how correct it is, but wielding a toy machine gun and shooting at zombies on the screen is one of the great joys in life. I highly recommend this stress-busting activity to all high-flying executives, stressed-out gallery directors and individuals hanging on to the proverbial corporate ladder. Imagine how sexy you will look in your suit and tie and other office attire, as you blast your way to final victory (or ignoble defeat).

I was happy to see some dear old friends come back to haunt no. IV. : Barrel-throwing rotting blubber-man, giant maggot wormies with jaw (think mini version of sand-worms in Dune), and Axe-wielding Stan (a classic zombie if there ever was one).

New dead things include : strange stripper-type policeman (complete with hat - quite sexy) and rotting skeleton (not very successul, in my opinion - don't think skeletons are able to be in a state of decay).

Missing : Chain-saw carrying maniac. I really adored this sweetie from HOD III. The way he rushes at you and invokes that last scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre completely freaks you out.

Still no sign of female zombies. It appears glass ceilings continue to exist in the genre. Someone should write a firmly-worded letter to SEGA and demand for a bit of equality. The sistas should be recognized. I think a kampung-style pontianak would be a wonderful Malaysia Boleh moment for us...

Bosses : more than disappointing. We had the cliched over-sized spider, possibly a mediocre rip-off from Shelob in Lord of the Rings. I suppose it DID spew tiny little spiders, which was quite creepy. In my opinion the best boss was actually at the end of Chapter One - a really horny looking phycho with a giant rotting tongue. You felt that if he caught you he would lick you and cover you in a rash of Herpes or something equally non-social. Last boss (i.e. Goldman - the man just won't quit!) I didn't like at all. Half his body was trapped in the ground, and he looked like an oversized fly. If you have ever played God of War, it reminds me of the head of the serpent at the end of Level One, except that the serpent was much better, and quicker.

In my opinion, HOD III is still the eternal classic. The new machine guns with shaking mechanism to reload are a bit silly. Although they are a little heavier, thus easier to control. One of my problems with HOD III was that the handguns were too light.

I would love to make a similar game called the House of Dead Ministers - now that would be truly terrifying. Mahatir would be a brilliant Final Boss. There would be five levels, each one named after a Rukun Negara, ending at last in a glorious shooting rampage through a decaying Parliament. Imagine the theraputic benefits. But I don't think Malaysia is ready for zombie-love.

ZOMBIES!!!!!!  ¶ 10:06 AM